Laverne Cox by Luke Fontana

posted 01:34 PM || 31 Jul 2014 605 notes || via || source
Tagged: laverne cox.

"Single Ladies" - On The Run Tour

posted 01:24 PM || 31 Jul 2014 7,568 notes || via || source
Tagged: beyonce.

insp (x)

posted 01:18 PM || 31 Jul 2014 1,007 notes || via || source
Tagged: so real. disappointed in myself tbh.

gayperson replied to your post: anonymous said:yeah, of course yo…

OMFG DID I INFLICT THIS ANON UPON YOU I AM SO SORRY…

omfg no it’s ok!! it’s a pretty good discussion i am having i’m having a Time for sure

posted 04:06 AM || 31 Jul 2014 1 note
Tagged: gayperson.
Anonymous: yeah either all my msgs to alex as well didn't send through, or she's not answering them when i tried to clarify that what i don't find fair is who she blames for it and how rude she is when someone mistakenly insults her. it's harsh, and it's the society at fault, yet she places like a personal fault on the person, and it's not fair because ignorant people don't mean to be ignorant. (i was only referring to people like young hoe girl who obviously hasn't been confronted about it)

i’m not really sure why you’re bringing this to me tbh, if alex is unwilling to talk about it bc i think you and i could agree that this stuff is exhausting and it takes a lot of emotional energy to talk about it then that’s their thing and that’s something we both should respect. tbh i want to wash my hands of this too. i’m tired and i really do not think we will see eye to eye on this, and that’s ok. i think you understand the gist of it and i do think you understand where i’m coming from, and it’s just that our approaches to this Thing are completely different. i’m definitely not blaming you and i’m definitely not pointing my finger at you as being part of the problem so much as i’m trying to explain my point of view on it

for me i see it like this: society is made up of people. society collects the major feelings of those people and then perpetuates it. nothing exists in a vacuum. what you do has consequences and sometimes those consequences are bad. ignorance isn’t an apology, but ignorance is something you can fix. you can’t say “but i didn’t know!” and then continue on your merry way. you CAN do something about it and you CAN listen. it’s when people get super defensive and are like “but i didn’t know and because i didn’t know you can’t put any of the blame on me!!!” that we have a problem. because you CAN say “but i didn’t know, AND i’m willing to understand why what i’ve done is wrong”. when someone is defensive like “explain why what i’m doing is wrong! do it! tell me why everything i’m doing is wrong!” then it’s like, why are you defending yourself so much? why can’t you understand that at a deeper level it stops being about you and it starts being about a general thought? it’s about owning it and taking responsibility.

the harshness is a first reaction the same way the defense is a first reaction. i’ve called people out on shit before and they’ve immediately apologized and asked me if i could help them understand, and i’ve apologized for jumping to conclusions. it’s about fostering this sort of i-thou relationship that i feel is important. you can be defensive about it or you can try to learn.

as for alex i think they’ve been through a lot. idk what their neck of the woods is like but where i’m at is a pretty big east-asian community where i feel relatively safe. our experiences are different. the way we react to things is different. i’m not alex and alex isn’t me.

that’s about all i can say about it right now. again i don’t think we’re going to see eye to eye and i don’t think that’s necessarily bad. ppl approach things differently. if you would still like to talk about it feel free to continue or ask me for my e-mail, i’ll come talk to you in the morning because i’m sleepy and i need to wake up early tomorrow morning and get ready for skating. thanks for having this discussion with me & being patient, it’s a really important topic for me growing up trying to fit in w/ white people and then learning how that wasn’t me at all…..

posted 04:01 AM || 31 Jul 2014 0 notes
Tagged: Anonymous.
Anonymous: yeah, of course you'd call them out for being offensive, but that doesn't give people the right to make fun of them and show everyone how ignorant they are. by degrading them out of anger won't fix anything, it'll probably make it worse because you're belittling them - cornering someone forcefully isn't really an optimum way to teach. yes, confrontation is helpful, it shocks them into realising theres a problem, but alex's approach to it was offensive and inconsiderate of their lack of knowledge

i wasn’t trying to silence poc, i was annoyed at howalex’s logic excused her from being rude to people who can’t help that they don’t know anything. it’s human nature to defend yourself when someone says you’ve done something wrong, i see how it can be infuriating that they try to justify their actions, but if you look at how they’ve been brought up and how people’s first reaction is to usually to take offense to someone calling them racist, how is it fair to blame them and take it out on them?

like i said before i …. really do not have any empathy for racist people? like i’m sure this makes me sound like a Huge Massive Bag Of Dicks. but  whether they’re racist intentionally or unintentionally their actions are still harmful. what they do perpetuates stereotypes. maybe they don’t understand this/can’t see it but if someone honestly and literally does not feel like they’re doing anything wrong then idk why they’re getting defensive about it. i don’t see a reason to tiptoe around someone’s racism.

if people don’t know anything then it’s like.. why not take the time to learn about it? like for instance, when i was younger (like.. super young, around prop 8 here in california) i didn’t understand queerness so i was immediately hostile towards it. it was never introduced to me when i was a kid: i didn’t understand how what i was doing was homophobic but it was still homophobic but i learned about it because i felt like that’s something you HAVE TO DO: when someone with those experiences points it out to you you should take the time to EDUCATE YOURSELF. and here i am like 10 years later and i’m queer as hell. getting defensive about something puts a person in a deeper hole, it shows that not only are they ignorant but they are unwilling to do anything about their ignorance, and it’s just a cycle

like for me seeing alex make those kinds of posts, calling people out on their racism with rudeness, calling people out for the things they do whether intentional or not, makes me laugh because.. it’s cathartic? idk if that’s the right word for it. unintentional racism is still racism. just because you don’t know about it doesn’t make it better. like if someone says something misogynistic like “all women are on this earth to service men!!” even if they don’t know that it’s misogyny, it’s still misogyny. ignorance isn’t a catch-all apology.

like i can definitely see where you’re coming from. i apologize if i’m reading this incorrectly but i think that for you, you don’t like the confrontation? and i think we all have different coping mechanisms when we see these kinds of things—for some people it’s being annoyed/angry but not that moved/moving on, and for other people it’s aggressively calling it out. you’re not obligated to like one or the other. i can see why you don’t like it and i think that i do understand where you’re coming from. i don’t mind the rudeness. perhaps you do—and that’s okay, i think. that’s just two things we definitely won’t agree on. 

posted 03:49 AM || 31 Jul 2014 2 notes
Tagged: Anonymous.
Anonymous: i'm alex's anon, i'm similar to you, chinese, but cant speak it, my grandparents died before i could even attempt to learn it. I'm surrounded by white culture and I have met so many people who actually don't know that it's offensive. They honestly believe they're embracing a culture, supporting an asian culture because we're kind of outsiders from the society. I've been obsessed about because I'm asian and how asian boys will definitely want to marry me, but theyre not at fault. cont

- If i tell those naive people that theyre being kinda racist or insulting, they’re still not going to understand the boundary that they can’t cross when they compliment my ethnicity. Because society moulded them that way, and i don’t get angry at them and degrade them for being stupid. They aren’t used to the idea that it’s offensive. I know they need to change, but to do that, society needs to change so future kids can be brought up being aware of how cultural fetishism is insulting.

for me it’s like, if someone doesn’t understand that what they’re doing is racist, then i’m going to call them out on it. and yeah there’s a 95% chance that i’m just screaming for no reason because they’re not going to understand it, but i’ve done what i can. i wash my hands of the mess. it’s not my problem anymore, it’s that person’s problem to understand and to learn. if they’re not willing then it’s like, i can’t help them anymore.

for me, i believe that the only way you’re going to challenge anything is thru confrontation. you have to tell people that what they’re doing is racist. and if they don’t give a fuck then that’s their fault, not mine. i did what i felt was right. society needs to change but unless you tell the people who are fetishizing a culture then you’re not changing anything. when you don’t talk about it then people think it’s okay. silence is agreement. they see you as an east-asian person and they think, “oh! what i’m doing is ok, because this person hasn’t told me anything, and they’re east-asian, so they must be okay with it” because you as one person are representative of east-asian people as a whole to them. when you’re ok with it, then everyone’s ok with it.

*i mean obviously you can do what you want. you don’t have to be passionate about resisting cultural fetishism or calling ppl out on it. i understand that in some circumstances for personal safety you don’t want to do that. but i think it’s important to understand that it’s a HUGE personal issue for other people, because in my pov struggling with your own culture is a big thing whether you’re an immigrant or not, and having to deal with other people neatly pulling your culture out of your hands and using it however they want without understand any of it is awful

posted 03:11 AM || 31 Jul 2014 0 notes
Tagged: Anonymous.
Anonymous: i don't feel like i have a right to complain bc i'm white, well, in europe, we're lower-class white, i'm russian. but i have our culture fetishized all the time. almost every damn time on the internet i mention my nationality men start grossly drooling like i'm their walking talking sex slave blonde dream who gonna cook them borsch or something, all those vodka, mafia, and cold -50 references infuriate me. even educated people say that shit all the time and it kinda hurts idk.

i feel like someone who has had more experience wrt talking about cultural fetishism should take the reigns from me on this one because i do feel like you’ve been fetishized but i don’t know if this is cultural fetishism and i personally do not think it is but certainly someone can come and correct me on this.. obviously i learn too when i hear about people’s experiences so i’m really sorry if i’m dismissing yours!

like “russian mail order bride” stereotype is definitely fetishism, and men thinking of u as as something and not a someone who’s only here to serve is gross as fuck. you are DEFINITELY IN THE RIGHT for having hurt feelings because that’s disgusting, no one should ever have to have that happen to them

hopefully i’m not talking out of my ass when i say that cultural fetishism is more like distilling aspects of a culture into a tiny neat box that is easy to consume, so like “using mandarin when you don’t speak mandarin” or “wearing traditional chinese dress when you are not chinese because you think it’s so pretty”. so like if people are approaching you and speaking russian because they think you’ll like it or if they wear some fucked up “russian hat” then it’s like, hm

posted 03:02 AM || 31 Jul 2014 0 notes
Tagged: Anonymous.